Calvinists and Armenians

By Mark Ward

Update (11/17/2020): This post is a joke. I deleted a few comments from people who didn’t catch the two major misspellings—because I didn’t want to embarrass them; I honestly didn’t expect to “fool” people! I forgot that some people are reading this post on other devices, even Kindles, and don’t have the easy ability to follow the links. At the risk of ruining the joke before you even get to see it, I very frequently see people misspell “Arminianism” and “Arminian”—even people who really, really ought to know better. I also see people misspelling “tenet,” as in the “five tenets of Calvinism.”


I am a Calvinist. And almost like that famous, clueless person who said, “I can’t believe Richard Nixon won! I don’t know anyone who voted for him!,” I personally know only one Armenian.

He’s a godly and wise man: I want to be the first to say this. I learned much from him when I took a class he taught in seminary.

But I could never be an Armenian; it’s too late for me. It’s not that I feel any antipathy toward them. I certainly don’t defend the efforts to destroy Armenianism that took place in the earlier part of the 20th century. I’m willing to work together with Armenians despite being an ardent Calvinist.

It’s a rare Armenian who believes even one of the five tenants of Calvinism. It’s unlikely they would even understand them, since, really, each one of those tenants speaks an entirely different language—or, that is, spoke: most of those tenants are dead. I think we’ve got an almost unbridgeable divide.

Yes, there is little hope that Armenians and Calvinists will ever come together in unity. But I invite any Armenians among my readership to reach out to me; we should at least try to converse.

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