“The seven ABC’s of discipline” from The Shepherd Leader at Home:
- Ask the Lord for wisdom.
- Be sure the line has been crossed.
- Confront and clarify.
- Deliver the promised consequences.
- Explain additional consequences of the action.
- Forgive completely.
- Graciously restore and move on.
Normally, my eyes glaze over when I encounter acrostics (except for “ACPADI“)—because of a negative experience I had with a particular author in grad school who packed his book so full of acrostics that he had to invent new letters to keep it interesting. But this acrostic seems genuinely useful. It can help Mommy and Daddy make sure they’ve covered the basics when they must instruct their children.
I found these five questions in a book by Ed Dobson for the “confront and clarify” step:
1) What did you do?
2) Was it right or wrong?
3) What do you think I ought to do about it?
4) What else could you have done?
5) What will you do next time?
When you ask your child these questions, or similar, it helps to keep your anger in check and bring a somewhat judicial process into play. You and the child will see the justice of what needs to be done to correct misbehaviour and you can deal with it and move along. Of course, the child will think of the worst possible consequence for #3 usually, but working through the questions helps the parent to think about an appropriate response – sentence must fit the crime, so to speak.
I found these helpful in dealing with individuals you know!
Source: Ed Dobson, What the Bible really says about Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage, pp. 151-152.
Probably out of print, mostly a forgettable book, but had this in it with explanations of his thinking. I think this came at a more sane stage of life for Dobson than some of his more recent episodes.
Maranatha!
Don Johnson
Jer 33.3